Tofu Scramble

Tofu Scramble!!!!

I made this one with sweet potatoes. Usually I don't use sweet potatoes, but I discovered an added benefit--they fry up great and they cook faster than regular ones.

For my tofu scramble I sauté the following ingredients in order:

Olive Oil

Garlic, minced

Diced onion

Sweet Potatoes, diced

Steam those ingredients with the lid on until the potatoes are tender, then remove the lid and cook these into it until it is nice and crisp:

Bell Peppers, diced

Tofu, cubed

Spices: ground pepper, cajun seasoning (or other multi-spice), a little taco seasoning, etc.

Top with cheese sauce and scallions (gay green onions).

Cheese Sauce:

Heat about 1/2 cup Coconut Milk Drink (So Delicious Brand is good)

Add ground pepper, salt, cumin, and a little salsa

Once milk is hot, add a little Daiya Cheddar (a little at a time until you get your desired texture).

Pizza Time!

Pizza Time!

I like to make my pizza dough in the bread machine. It's hard to mix up pizza dough on your own when you suffer from Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. Here is the pizza dough recipe I use:

3/4 Cup Water

2 TBS Olive Oil

1 tsp Sea Salt

2 1/2 Cups Bread Flour

1 3/4 tsp yeast

When the bread machine kicks off, I give it about 1 more hour. If I am making a double batch I will take the first one out as soon as it is done with the last cycle and place it into an oiled bowl with plastic wrap while the other one mixes and raises.

So this is an image of a Vegan Pizza I made. This one is made with an organic marinara, Daiya cheese, seitan sausage with sage and rosemary, bell peppers, artichoke hearts, onions, crushed red peppers, garlic, olive oil and basil.

Vegan Donuts in Las Vegas

If you are going to Las Vegas you must go here:

http://www.happycow.net/reviews.php?id=4228

Ronald's Donuts has the BEST donuts on this planet!!! Most of them are vegan (the best ones)! Sometimes I just sit and think about how good they were... Sometimes I think about driving out to Las Vegas and buying 10 dozen, then spending the whole trip back eating each and every one of them!

Why isn't there a place like this in Michigan!!!!

Chocolate Peanut Butter Balls

Chocolate Peanut Butter Balls
(I need a new name for this)
Recommended Serving: 1-3 fatties

Ingredients:
2 Cups of Graham Cracker Crumbs
1LB box of Powdered Sugar
1 Cup of Vegan Margarine
1 Cup of Creamy Peanut Butter
1 Bag of Vegan Chocolate Chips
½ tsp Vanilla Extract
½ tsp Almond Extract

Directions:
Mix the graham cracker crumbs with the margarine, peanut butter, powered sugar, vanilla and almond extract. Shape the mixture into 1 inch balls and roll around in your hands to make perfect circles. *Hint: you can purchase a small ice cream scoop for things like this to make the portions consistent.

Use a double boiler or one pan that is slightly larger than the other with water filled and the other pan floating on top, and place over medium heat. Pour the vegan chocolate chips into the empty pan and stir frequently until it is melted though. Remove the pan from the heat but keep it over the hot water so that the chocolate does not harden up when you roll the peanut butter balls into the chocolate. Allow them to cool on wax paper before moving to an airtight container. I like to store these in the refrigerator. These are excellent for holiday parties and no one can believe they are vegan!

Shitty Donuts

Shitty Donuts
*We never actually made or ate these
Recommended Serving: 0

Ingredients:
12 Hot Dog Buns (Fun Tip: Save the bag for easy storage, disposal or vomit)
1 Quart of Oil
¼ Cup Sugar
2TBS Cinnamon
1 Can of Vegan Frosting

Heat the oil in a large pot over medium heat. Drop hot dog buns in one at a time and cook 1 minute on each side. Using tongs, remove these bad boys from the oil and place onto a paper bag. Sprinkle cinnamon and sugar on them immediately (both sides). Take a glob of frosting with a butter knife and spread on the inside of the bun then squeeze it closed. Lick off any residual frosting so it looks neat. You can also make a glaze with powdered sugar and water to drizzle over them for added personality. Eat these in secret and hide all evidence. Never cook them for someone you love.

I'm So Stuffed Peppers!

I'm So Stuffed Peppers!
Servings: 1-3

Ingredients:
6 Large Bell Peppers*
1 Sweet Onion
Fresh Mushrooms (12-16 ounces)
2 Cups of Basmati Rice (Dry)**
4 Cups of Water***
2 Vegetable Bullion Cubes***
¼ Cup Red Wine (Cab. Sav. or Merlot)
3 LBS Fresh Tomatoes (or 2-28oz Cans of Diced Tomatoes)****
Olive Oil
2 TBS Minced Garlic
1 tsp Cumin
Fresh Ground Pepper
Parsley (if dry put with the uncooked rice, mix fresh with rice after cooked)
Basil

*If you want your bell peppers to stand up after they are cooked (this looks better for presentation) you should select a large pepper at the market and find yourself a flat surface to stand it up on, if it will not stand on it’s own, it will fall over on your plate.
**You can substitute jasmine rice if you would like, but I do not use white because it does not taste as good and brown is a pain in the ass to cook.
***If you have some disposable income use Vegetable stock or broth instead of water and omit the bullion cubes. I prefer water and the fake chicken bullion myself, but I am on welfare.
****Sometimes I use half fresh and half canned tomatoes. If at least half of your tomatoes are fresh it will taste fresh.

Let’s start off by opening the bottle of wine so it can breathe. Now that that’s done be sure that before you start tasting the wine that you save enough for the recipe. If you are not sure that you can do that, make sure you have more wine first or consider buying your wine by the case. Pour your glass and put on some sexy music because we’re going to make magic here.

Clean your peppers by cutting the top off as you would if you were carving a pumpkin. You could probably carve them like pumpkins if you wanted to, but they might fall apart if you get carried away so I would not recommend it. If you selected large peppers like I suggested earlier, then you will be able to get your fat fingers in them with a paring knife to remove the membrane and seedlings. Rinse with water inside and out and clean with a veggie washing product if you are worried about e-coli. When I cut them I keep the stem attached, like a pumpkin, so I have something to hold onto and so it will look intact when it is put back together. When you clean each pepper, place the corresponding top back on it so that it will match up correctly. Presentation is important with this dish because it can get sloppy if you are not careful. Set the 6 cleaned and reassembled peppers onto a 9X16 baking pan and set them aside.

I like to do my rice in a rice cooker. It is easier and it gives you more time to set everything else up. A rice cooker is not expensive, as I am on welfare and I have one. If you do not want to invest in one, you can also cook your rice on the stove but I will not tell you how to do that. Pour a little olive oil into the bottom of the rice cooker and use a piece of plastic wrap to spread it around the reservoir (to ensure the rice does not stick to bad). Add the water, rice, cubes of bullion, cumin, fresh ground pepper and parsley if you’re using dry. Stir and place the lid on, then switch it to “Cook” mode (or follow the directions with your cooker if there is no “Cook” mode. You may notice that I have included more water in this option than some Basmati rice packages call for; what can I say, I’m a maverick.

Now that your rice is cooking and you’re probably going on that 2nd glass of wine, finish it up and start cutting up your onion and mushrooms. Dice the onions finely, but leave the mushrooms in chunks about the size of a marble. If they are too small they seem to disappear. If you are using fresh parsley cut that up at this time along with your fresh garlic. Divide your onions, mushrooms, garlic and fresh parsley (if applicable) into two segments. Set one aside and get the other one ready for the next step. Dice your tomatoes and have them ready as well.

Heat a large and deep skillet over medium-high heat (if you do not have one a large pot will work). Cover the bottom of the pan with a thin layer of olive oil (about 6 tsp). Add your onions, mushrooms and garlic. Sauté until it is sizzling and steaming before adding your red wine. Occasionally stir and sauté until the onions become soft then add your diced tomatoes. Reduce to medium-low heat and cook another 15 minutes. Your tomato sauce will probably cook after your rice is done, this is okay, just turn the rice cooker off and leave the lid on. The rice is hot enough, when it is done cooking, to melt though a safe anyway.

While your tomato sauce is finishing up, add any reserved fresh herbs and the remaining onions, mushrooms and garlic. Mix well.

When the tomato sauce has cooked down a little, turn off the heat. Add the cooked seasoned rice to the seasoned vegetable mixture. Mix well then heat your oven to 350.

Use a tablespoon to scoop the rice mixture into the peppers. Fill them to the top but do not pack them down until each pepper is full. Restore the top to each pepper before moving to the next to ensure they match up and seal correctly. If you have remaining rice, use the spoon to pack the rice of each pepper down and add more. If there is still additional rice set it aside for a snack. Use a ladle to add the tomato sauce over each pepper and between them. Fill the pan leaving about 2 inches from the top and cover the pan with foil (if you have additional tomato sauce set it aside). Place the peppers into the oven and bake for at least an hour. If you had remaining rice, add some remaining tomato sauce for a snack while you wait on the peppers to bake. Any remaining tomato sauce can be placed into a gravy boat and put in the microwave until the peppers are done. Turn the microwave on for a minute or two and you will have additional tomato sauce for the table. Finish up any wine at this time, then open some more to share with your guests. Set the table and take a cigarette break. The peppers are done when you can easily tear them apart with a fork, the tomato sauce begins to thicken, the house smells really good and your friends are salivating. For an added touch place each pepper on a plate and garnish with some additional tomato sauce and some fresh parsley or basil. You can add a cheese substitute after they are done and return them to the oven for a few minutes to melt before removing and garnishing with the fresh herbs (just be sure you’re using a soy cheese that is actually vegan and actually tastes good!)

"Do I Have a Problem?" (from the book)

It is difficult for me to pinpoint where my compulsive eating started. At age two my dad purchased a case of bananas from a produce bargain store. Apparently he decided to take an afternoon nap since the children passed out in front of the television. Being the little fatty, I woke up early to discover the abundance of sweet fruit calling my name from the kitchen. My dad later found the near-empty box on the floor, along with me rolling around over the empty peels, grunting and holding my bloated belly.

My obsession with food and compulsive eating (we might as well use the word “disorder”) got a little out of hand, where at age 21 I was 285 lbs. I can recall eating a whole large pizza, then going to the kitchen for a wedge of cake and pint of ice cream about an hour later. Nothing angered me more than being full with delicious things in the house to eat. I started a diet every other week and went off the diet later that same day. It was not until the New Year’s Eve after my 21st birthday that I finally had enough of being a fat loser. The self-realization of a compulsive eating disorder made sense after the hours of drinking alone and listening to suicidal music: It all seemed so clear. I had to do everything in extremes! Nothing about my life was in moderation and the only way to get a result that I wanted was to obsess and make it dominate every other aspect of my life. For about a year I starved myself to 800 calories a day and reduced my fat intake to 10 grams or less. For legal reasons I should state that: while I did count my protein and take a multi-vitamin, this was obviously not recommended by any physician. Birthdays, cook outs, holidays, dates, and any other occasions where a bunch of people get together and eat involved myself just drinking water and saying “No Thanks”. I lost 50 lbs the first three months and another 50 in the 9 months to follow. For the first time in my life I was actually thin! I went from a size 40 to a 34 and was able to see bones though my skin; I felt so elegant!

While the weight loss did not last, and I only remember feeling thin one day in my life. I do, however, remember that sense of accomplishment for having achieved something I set myself out to do. So while my weight went up and down in the years to follow, part of which I blame on the year I lived in Las Vegas (city of extremes), I began to search for a healthy lifestyle option. I remember thinking, “If I could only find something rational that would allow me to eat excessive amounts of food and not die of heart disease”. One day I found it, however, I still thought I needed one last meal. I drove to a burger joint with a cow on the sign and ordered a big juicy hamburger and fries. I took one bite, a bite I was barely able to chew and swallow, so I threw the rest of the greasy confection into the trash. I sat alone in my room, tears running down my face, as my brain raced though thoughts of what I had learned earlier that day. I empathized and mourned for the animal that died in a slaughter house. I cried for the injustices caused by factory farms in our fast food nation. I thought about the negative impacts caused by my years of apathy, laziness and selfishness. I woke the next day a Vegan.